Monday 3 October 2011
Went down a treat!
The Simon Darby show thing went down a treat, especially amongst ex-BNP members/supporters. They love it!!
The BBC Ambush, a rant.
Wasn't planning on talking about Panorama until after it was broadcast. But the Turkey's have been pestering me to say something about the way in which the BNP ambushed the programme's producers a few weeks ago. So let's have a look at it all. (Just so you know, this doesn't flow too well, it's just a collection of thoughts on the whole thing, and probably isn't worth your time reading).
Do we all know the story? The BBC are doing an expose on the finances of the BNP, looking at financial irregularities and what not. The BNP invited the BBC to a questions and answers session with several high ranking boneheads, somewhere in the Midlands, I think. My research isn't all that great. Frankly, I can't be arsed. Anyway, instead of hosting this questions and answers session, Griffin decided he was going to read out a statement to the BBC, and then kick them out. Getting one up on them sort of thing.
Simon 'Eyebrows' Darby featured quite prominently in the video. Simon Darby is the BNP's useless (yet handsomely paid) press officer (and failed treasurer and ex deputy chairman), in fact, he isn't even a fucking member of the BNP? But he insists on being addressed 'Press Officer Simon Darby, (Press Officer) Press Officer to the British National Party'.
Now what the BNP didn't seem to realise here, is that this was its one chance to actually maybe 'set the record straight', they were given the opportunity to say something back. Maybe the BBC, convinced with the new evidence provided would have pulled the programme, or changed its focus to 'The Financial Wonderfulness of the British National Party and the Honest Leadership of Nick Griffin'. Who knows. The thing is, the BNP blew this chance, making fools of themselves in the process. It could have gone on for hours, Nick Griffin answering all the questions, filling in the blanks, like he always claims he does. Eddy Butler is always keen to point out that Griffin hasn't addressed one claimed falsehood published on his blog. He says that they're lies, but never goes any further. But you know what? This is all most BNP supporters need to here "Nick didn't say/do/eat that, he said so, so fuck off, you communist".
However, it was quite well choreographed (for the BNP anyway). They were all sat there in nice £25 suits, even Clive, who wasn't drunk for a change. The room was half decent, not a dingy pub like usual. They held a vote, everybody agreed that the statement should be read out, they removed Clive from the front (probably worried he would say something), replaced him with some middle aged umpa lumpa and then let the BBC in. They blocked the door with some meat head (a Walker I think) and then Mr. Griffin read out his statement, and sat still whilst the BBC tried to leave, having realised they were flogging a dead horse. Mr. Darby didn't like this, he started a tirade against the BBC people, asking them why they aren't looking at some murderers, paedophiles etc. who used to be in the employment of the BBC. We'll get to this later. One of the BBC men was physically shaking, clearly scared and sweating (yet carried on filming). Darby took great pride in this. Makes him feel like a man, apparently (his blogging had an added burst of testosterone).
I have a turkey working on some number crunching to back all this up, however, for now, lets look at the bigger picture. The BBC is a massive, gigantic, huge corporation, with thousands of employees. Their employee turnover will be higher than the BNP's all time membership! There are bound to be some shady types amongst all those workers. They could add a question to their interview process along the lines of 'In the future, do you plan on killing anyone?', and if they answer is Yes, or Maybe, then they will have to say "sorry, we can't give you the job, because we don't like that sort of thing", and the interviewee will be all "oh shit, I knew I should have said no". However, this is the real world. And to get back on point, the BBC is huge, and any number of murderers, paedophiles etc amongst them are not even going to represent a tiny minority of the BBC, because there isn't that many of them, and once in a while, they get jobs.
This doesn't apply to the BNP. Only last month, a BNP council candidate was arrested for possessing child porn, a crime he would lose his head for under a BNP government. The BNP has a higher than average number of paedophiles, arms smugglers, convicted criminals, pornographers than most other organisations (excepting maybe the EDL, who are now more significant on the scene and are therefore attracting all the nut cases the BNP used to) because these people are just attracting to crank politics. They thrive off hate, and something like the BNP is their kind of thing. That isn't to say that all BNP members and employees are like this.
Darby didn't realise, because he was too taken up in "wow, I discovered something by doing a FOI request that we must let the world know! Invite the BBC round so I can take down their corporation", what he didn't realise, was that it's almost totally pointless. Sure, he may well feel like he got one up on the BBC, but he didn't. If anything, he's made a fool of himself and shown the BNP to be the rabble of unprofessional bonehead's they actually are. This was their chance to say something, something sensible, something in their own words. They didn't, they chose to do it Nick's way, the way which hasn't really got the BNP that far, by being stupid, by not thinking more than one day ahead.
So what is the outcome? Well, the BBC went away with one more thing to write about, it might not even come up, maybe they have all the juice they need regarding electoral fraud etc.The video is on youtube for you all to see. The comments are quite highlighting. I wanted to source some of them for this article, but time is pushing on. We'll get some quotes from Darby's blog too.
Do we all know the story? The BBC are doing an expose on the finances of the BNP, looking at financial irregularities and what not. The BNP invited the BBC to a questions and answers session with several high ranking boneheads, somewhere in the Midlands, I think. My research isn't all that great. Frankly, I can't be arsed. Anyway, instead of hosting this questions and answers session, Griffin decided he was going to read out a statement to the BBC, and then kick them out. Getting one up on them sort of thing.
Simon 'Eyebrows' Darby featured quite prominently in the video. Simon Darby is the BNP's useless (yet handsomely paid) press officer (and failed treasurer and ex deputy chairman), in fact, he isn't even a fucking member of the BNP? But he insists on being addressed 'Press Officer Simon Darby, (Press Officer) Press Officer to the British National Party'.
Now what the BNP didn't seem to realise here, is that this was its one chance to actually maybe 'set the record straight', they were given the opportunity to say something back. Maybe the BBC, convinced with the new evidence provided would have pulled the programme, or changed its focus to 'The Financial Wonderfulness of the British National Party and the Honest Leadership of Nick Griffin'. Who knows. The thing is, the BNP blew this chance, making fools of themselves in the process. It could have gone on for hours, Nick Griffin answering all the questions, filling in the blanks, like he always claims he does. Eddy Butler is always keen to point out that Griffin hasn't addressed one claimed falsehood published on his blog. He says that they're lies, but never goes any further. But you know what? This is all most BNP supporters need to here "Nick didn't say/do/eat that, he said so, so fuck off, you communist".
However, it was quite well choreographed (for the BNP anyway). They were all sat there in nice £25 suits, even Clive, who wasn't drunk for a change. The room was half decent, not a dingy pub like usual. They held a vote, everybody agreed that the statement should be read out, they removed Clive from the front (probably worried he would say something), replaced him with some middle aged umpa lumpa and then let the BBC in. They blocked the door with some meat head (a Walker I think) and then Mr. Griffin read out his statement, and sat still whilst the BBC tried to leave, having realised they were flogging a dead horse. Mr. Darby didn't like this, he started a tirade against the BBC people, asking them why they aren't looking at some murderers, paedophiles etc. who used to be in the employment of the BBC. We'll get to this later. One of the BBC men was physically shaking, clearly scared and sweating (yet carried on filming). Darby took great pride in this. Makes him feel like a man, apparently (his blogging had an added burst of testosterone).
I have a turkey working on some number crunching to back all this up, however, for now, lets look at the bigger picture. The BBC is a massive, gigantic, huge corporation, with thousands of employees. Their employee turnover will be higher than the BNP's all time membership! There are bound to be some shady types amongst all those workers. They could add a question to their interview process along the lines of 'In the future, do you plan on killing anyone?', and if they answer is Yes, or Maybe, then they will have to say "sorry, we can't give you the job, because we don't like that sort of thing", and the interviewee will be all "oh shit, I knew I should have said no". However, this is the real world. And to get back on point, the BBC is huge, and any number of murderers, paedophiles etc amongst them are not even going to represent a tiny minority of the BBC, because there isn't that many of them, and once in a while, they get jobs.
This doesn't apply to the BNP. Only last month, a BNP council candidate was arrested for possessing child porn, a crime he would lose his head for under a BNP government. The BNP has a higher than average number of paedophiles, arms smugglers, convicted criminals, pornographers than most other organisations (excepting maybe the EDL, who are now more significant on the scene and are therefore attracting all the nut cases the BNP used to) because these people are just attracting to crank politics. They thrive off hate, and something like the BNP is their kind of thing. That isn't to say that all BNP members and employees are like this.
Darby didn't realise, because he was too taken up in "wow, I discovered something by doing a FOI request that we must let the world know! Invite the BBC round so I can take down their corporation", what he didn't realise, was that it's almost totally pointless. Sure, he may well feel like he got one up on the BBC, but he didn't. If anything, he's made a fool of himself and shown the BNP to be the rabble of unprofessional bonehead's they actually are. This was their chance to say something, something sensible, something in their own words. They didn't, they chose to do it Nick's way, the way which hasn't really got the BNP that far, by being stupid, by not thinking more than one day ahead.
So what is the outcome? Well, the BBC went away with one more thing to write about, it might not even come up, maybe they have all the juice they need regarding electoral fraud etc.The video is on youtube for you all to see. The comments are quite highlighting. I wanted to source some of them for this article, but time is pushing on. We'll get some quotes from Darby's blog too.
Monday 26 September 2011
Tuesday 20 September 2011
Turkey Poem Competition
The winner of this weeks 'Turkey Poem competition' is... SIMON DARBY!
Well done Simon, your packet of turkey twizzlers are in the post!
Simons winning poem!
Turkeys, turkeys
Everywhere!
Hiding behind corners,
Giving Simon a scare!
Well done Simon, your packet of turkey twizzlers are in the post!
Simons winning poem!
Turkeys, turkeys
Everywhere!
Hiding behind corners,
Giving Simon a scare!
Monday 12 September 2011
Ambush
BNP proudly reporting that they invited the BBC Panorama team to a Q&A session with the BNP leadership. However, in a clever move, Nick made a statement about BBC staff instead and then fled, whilst the team were then physically removed from the meeting by Darby and several other meatheads.
Just the behaviour you expect from Britain's Fastest Growing and Fourth Largest Political Party!
Sorry, did we say growing?
Just the behaviour you expect from Britain's Fastest Growing and Fourth Largest Political Party!
Sorry, did we say growing?
Simon Darby gets his gobble on!!
Now we're back in business here at the Turkey Farm, we thought we'd give you an update on the insane ramblings over on Simon 'Eyebrows' Darby's blog... seems he has some fixation on the Turkey Farm at the moment, for three solid days he has been ranting about the articles on here and about turkeys in general, seems all this discussion about his 'purpose' here has hit a raw nerve.
He ranted:
He later posted via Twitter:
And later at 3:35am:
Cant sleep - been ringing round Turkey Farms up and down the country and not one Turkey Farmer agrees that a turkey can read or write, never mind master the internet! So I think the case is closed!
Poor old Mr. Darby. We're going to send him some free Turkey Twizzlers in the post and an activist pack for The Turkey Party of the United Kingdom - A nationalist Turkey party, aimed at reducing the amount of imported Turkey into the UK! We're sure he'll be very interested!
He ranted:
As Britain's most prominent and famous British Nationalist Birder, I want to make a statement regarding this so called Turkey Farm and their blogging Turkeys! I'm sure you've all been over there and read their smears about my eyebrows being fake!
Firstly, as a seasoned birder and professional Ornithologist I am almost 98% certain that a turkey cannot read or write. I have never seen it, nor have I heard of it. They only have feet and wings, how can they even use a keyboard? Or a mouse!? Even if they can, I very much doubt they have access to the internet and are able to set up blogs, email and twitter accounts!
I very much doubt they have any grasp of, or interest in politics, even if it is only nationalism! They're birds, they wobble around all day in a field and make a gobble gobble sound, they do not sit down at laptop computers and write! And also! There is no way they would support people eating Turkey! It makes no sense! Why would they promote Turkey products over chicken products? It's quite clear to me, that even if Turkeys can read and write, they most certainly aren't writing that horrible and mean blog!
I'd like to bet, and I would put money on this, £5 I'm willing to bet anyone, no, let's make it interesting! For a £7 bet I will bet that it is not actually a turkey writing that blog!
He later posted via Twitter:
Having nightmares about Turkeys again, fucking Turkeys and their computers!!
And later at 3:35am:
Cant sleep - been ringing round Turkey Farms up and down the country and not one Turkey Farmer agrees that a turkey can read or write, never mind master the internet! So I think the case is closed!
Poor old Mr. Darby. We're going to send him some free Turkey Twizzlers in the post and an activist pack for The Turkey Party of the United Kingdom - A nationalist Turkey party, aimed at reducing the amount of imported Turkey into the UK! We're sure he'll be very interested!
Wednesday 10 August 2011
EDL FEELING ASHAMED AND ANGERED BY LONDON RIOTS
EDL FEELING ASHAMED AND ANGERED BY LONDON RIOTS.
The Edl leadership have expressed their dismay and anger at the crowds which trashed, burned and looted parts of the capital and other areas of the country.
Their leader, Tommy Robinson said in an interview "we just can't do it like that, we feel inadequate, I've been watching it unfold on the news and there are some genuinely impressive scenes, masses of people trashing anything in sight, there is passion, there is energy!" Robinson vented his frustration and took notes on the way in which the riots were organised, he said "how they mobilized themselves is beyond me, we set up coaches, arrange stewards, meeting points, and yet we could only dream of causing such damage, we pale in insignificance, we'll be the next BNP and me the next Griffin. Oh fucking hell. I'm genuinely ashamed of my organisation, we've let ourselves down massively, all I can do is apologise to my followers and try to better these riots on our next demo".
The EDL, despite claiming to be a peaceful organisation, are notorious for their drunken town centre smash ups, which they arrange to protest against militant Islam and to stand up for true British values. In the past they have attacked shoppers, smashed windows and caused thousands of pounds worth of damage. On their website they list their crowning achievement as smashing up a family restaurant and chasing its customers into the back.
Robinson has vowed to do one better, adding that "any looters or arsonists are welcome to come and join us, show us how it's done lads!!".
The Edl leadership have expressed their dismay and anger at the crowds which trashed, burned and looted parts of the capital and other areas of the country.
Their leader, Tommy Robinson said in an interview "we just can't do it like that, we feel inadequate, I've been watching it unfold on the news and there are some genuinely impressive scenes, masses of people trashing anything in sight, there is passion, there is energy!" Robinson vented his frustration and took notes on the way in which the riots were organised, he said "how they mobilized themselves is beyond me, we set up coaches, arrange stewards, meeting points, and yet we could only dream of causing such damage, we pale in insignificance, we'll be the next BNP and me the next Griffin. Oh fucking hell. I'm genuinely ashamed of my organisation, we've let ourselves down massively, all I can do is apologise to my followers and try to better these riots on our next demo".
The EDL, despite claiming to be a peaceful organisation, are notorious for their drunken town centre smash ups, which they arrange to protest against militant Islam and to stand up for true British values. In the past they have attacked shoppers, smashed windows and caused thousands of pounds worth of damage. On their website they list their crowning achievement as smashing up a family restaurant and chasing its customers into the back.
Robinson has vowed to do one better, adding that "any looters or arsonists are welcome to come and join us, show us how it's done lads!!".
Tuesday 9 August 2011
Simon Darby Blames Press Officer for Lack of Information
What we at the farm thought was grade-A bullshit from Mr. 'Eyebrows' Darby, turned out to be the result of his own uselessness and doesn't really inspire much confidence in the man responsible for dealing with the press side of things for the BNP.
Writing via his blog that he had only just discovered that Nick Griffin was still the chairman of the BNP several days after the leadership result, we thought 'what a big crock of turkey shit'. How could he not know? He's Nick's little lapdog, he fully supported Griffin throughout the contest and is their own fucking press officer! He's forever playing with his iPhone, taking photos of cheap meat and shit! Who is he trying to kid (well obviously the BNP membership, not difficult)! But surely, even Darby/Griffin can't be this stupid? Or so we thought!
Darby later revealed, that whilst he had been away train-spotting, eating, birding and being useless in general, he had tried several times to contact the BNP's press department so he could find out who had won "for his own interest", completely forgetting that he is in fact their press officer, is paid for this role and should be one of the first to know. He wrote "their press department are useless, there was no word on the internet, on their own channels, I couldn't even get in touch with anybody such as a press officer who might be able to tell me what was going on, I felt so in the dark".
No longer a member of the BNP for 'financial purposes', Darby has been described as 'useless' and 'boring' by almost everybody who has met him and despite not actually having a real job or any relevant experience, he has survived by pandering to Nick Griffin and showing up at the odd stall over the years. Currently their press officer (quite an easy job considering nobody wants to have a comment from the BNP until they fuck up), he has had a stint as Deputy Chairman (stepping down to avoid being taken to court) and also as National Treasurer (he abandoned the post leaving mountains of debt and no mechanisms in place).
Writing via his blog that he had only just discovered that Nick Griffin was still the chairman of the BNP several days after the leadership result, we thought 'what a big crock of turkey shit'. How could he not know? He's Nick's little lapdog, he fully supported Griffin throughout the contest and is their own fucking press officer! He's forever playing with his iPhone, taking photos of cheap meat and shit! Who is he trying to kid (well obviously the BNP membership, not difficult)! But surely, even Darby/Griffin can't be this stupid? Or so we thought!
Darby later revealed, that whilst he had been away train-spotting, eating, birding and being useless in general, he had tried several times to contact the BNP's press department so he could find out who had won "for his own interest", completely forgetting that he is in fact their press officer, is paid for this role and should be one of the first to know. He wrote "their press department are useless, there was no word on the internet, on their own channels, I couldn't even get in touch with anybody such as a press officer who might be able to tell me what was going on, I felt so in the dark".
No longer a member of the BNP for 'financial purposes', Darby has been described as 'useless' and 'boring' by almost everybody who has met him and despite not actually having a real job or any relevant experience, he has survived by pandering to Nick Griffin and showing up at the odd stall over the years. Currently their press officer (quite an easy job considering nobody wants to have a comment from the BNP until they fuck up), he has had a stint as Deputy Chairman (stepping down to avoid being taken to court) and also as National Treasurer (he abandoned the post leaving mountains of debt and no mechanisms in place).
Tuesday 19 July 2011
Turkey Wars!
Turns out Simon 'Eyebrows' Darby has been buying cheap imported turkey! An absolute outrage and one which won't go unpunished in the future when the Turkey Party are in power!
Simon runs a crappy chain of turkey takeaway restaurants called BFT (British Fried Turkey), we at the farm have contacted him several times trying to get him to buy British turkey, however, he won't budge! He claims he can get cheaper turkey imported from across the globe! An absolute fucking outrage!
Interesting, considering the BNP ran a British Jobs for British Workers back in 2009, and more recently, a British Turkeys for British Turkey Restaurants campaign! Fucking hypocrites! Very similar to the case where the BNP were having products made abroad whilst pushing their British Jobs for British Workers campaign!
Gobble Gobble Darby, we're watching you, and your fucking eyebrows!
Simon runs a crappy chain of turkey takeaway restaurants called BFT (British Fried Turkey), we at the farm have contacted him several times trying to get him to buy British turkey, however, he won't budge! He claims he can get cheaper turkey imported from across the globe! An absolute fucking outrage!
Interesting, considering the BNP ran a British Jobs for British Workers back in 2009, and more recently, a British Turkeys for British Turkey Restaurants campaign! Fucking hypocrites! Very similar to the case where the BNP were having products made abroad whilst pushing their British Jobs for British Workers campaign!
Gobble Gobble Darby, we're watching you, and your fucking eyebrows!
Thursday 14 July 2011
Getting my gobble on...
New to Twitter here at the Turkey Farm, however, I like the way I can randomly gobble gobble at various people. Today I've already gobble gobbled Simon Darby and Nick Griffin.
I'm sure there's a way they can stop me. Shame. I might start my own version of Twitter, one where it's socially acceptable to gobble gobble people.
I'm sure there's a way they can stop me. Shame. I might start my own version of Twitter, one where it's socially acceptable to gobble gobble people.
Why I fully support Nick Griffin MEP
Simon 'Eyebrows' Darby has publicly got involved with the leadership election, making a strange statement on his blog. However, he makes an interesting point in saying "the pressure of the job would probably finish him [Brons] off" - which got me thinking... Now I don't expect Brons to win, even if 90% voted for Brons, the Griffin would find a way round it, however, I have been worrying that should Bronsw in and turn the BNP around, he might actually make them something more akin to a functioning and performing political party.
I don't want this, as far as I'm concerned the BNP is doing just fine destroying itself from within. Furthermore, an effective BNP would make extra work for me, which I don't want. Nobody likes extra work.
The BNP with Griffin at the helm is doing all the work for us, Butler has listed a load of Griffin gaffes just this very morning, and the fact is, you can't get this kind of stupidity anywhere else. Griffin is so out of touch with reality and with the 'cause' that he is just crashing through things surrounded by a bunch of neandathals telling him he is doing fine. Who in their right mind would allow a Granny Porn Star to organise a family event?
The fact is: if Brons were to lead the BNP, our lives might just become more difficult. His election video was much more professional and tackled the key points of turning the BNP around, where as Griffin's involved him throwing a book around.
I am confident Griffin will win, he has a small (but vocal) core of crackpot supporters and a dim but determined team working hard to ensure that the election goes in his favour.
This is why I fully support Nick Griffin MEP in the BNP Leadership Election!
One other thought, this is a win-win situation. If Griffin remains chairman then the BNP are doomed, and if Brons becomes chairman, he'll probably die from the pressure. Pressure of what I'm not so sure, what pressure Simon? The pressure of squireling money away?
I don't want this, as far as I'm concerned the BNP is doing just fine destroying itself from within. Furthermore, an effective BNP would make extra work for me, which I don't want. Nobody likes extra work.
The BNP with Griffin at the helm is doing all the work for us, Butler has listed a load of Griffin gaffes just this very morning, and the fact is, you can't get this kind of stupidity anywhere else. Griffin is so out of touch with reality and with the 'cause' that he is just crashing through things surrounded by a bunch of neandathals telling him he is doing fine. Who in their right mind would allow a Granny Porn Star to organise a family event?
The fact is: if Brons were to lead the BNP, our lives might just become more difficult. His election video was much more professional and tackled the key points of turning the BNP around, where as Griffin's involved him throwing a book around.
I am confident Griffin will win, he has a small (but vocal) core of crackpot supporters and a dim but determined team working hard to ensure that the election goes in his favour.
This is why I fully support Nick Griffin MEP in the BNP Leadership Election!
One other thought, this is a win-win situation. If Griffin remains chairman then the BNP are doomed, and if Brons becomes chairman, he'll probably die from the pressure. Pressure of what I'm not so sure, what pressure Simon? The pressure of squireling money away?
Wednesday 13 July 2011
The Bigger Picture in 2011
(This is a follow up to the previous article.)
In order to show how irrelevant the 2009 European Elections are, and the claim that 1,000,000 people support / voted for the BNP, let's gather some more recent numbers. In the 2011 local elections the BNP didn't even appear on the radar. They were wiped out of Stoke on Trent, all five councillors were lost. They were only defending 13 seats nationwide and lost a massive 11 of these. Not a single new seat was gained.
In the 2009 European Elections turnout across Great Britain was 15,136,932, representing 34% of the electorate. The BNP got 943,598 votes working out at just over 6.2% of the total, not bad really.
In the 2010 General Election turnout across Great Britain was 29,691,780, representing 65% of the electorate. The BNP got 563,743 votes working out at 1.9% of the total, not that good really, and a much more realistic picture of the electorate's attitude towards the BNP.
To truly understand the 2010 General Election results, we need to look at the previous one.
In the 2005 General Election turnout across Great Britain was 27,148,510, representing 61% of the electorate. The BNP got 192,745 votes working out at 0.7% of the total.
So the BNP's share of the vote increased between 2005 and 2010, SUCCESS! Well, no. Whilst their share of the vote increased, this doesn't mean anything in terms of getting elected. The BNP applied a unique strategy of 'fling enough shit and some will stick'. They threw out a record 338 candidates, anybody who wanted to stand was allowed. This was the strategy. But a candidate isn't elected on the nationwide total, this is why the Green party focused on Brighton, and successfully gained an MP!
We need to look at the average votes for each BNP candidate:
In 2005 the average votes per candidate for the BNP was 1,647
In 2010 the average votes per candidate for the BNP was 1,663
This represents an increase of an extra 16 votes per candidate.
Which is nothing.
This was all about numbers for Griffin! There was no policy of actually growing in terms of political power, he just needed numbers to plaster all over the website! 338 candidates! 563,743 votes! Wow! Next! The World! It was an absolute waste of money, it costs £500 to stand and if you get less than 5% of the vote, then you lose it. 265 lost deposits cost the BNP £132,500.
The only thing they have to talk about, being careful not to use the word success here, but they certainly seemed to see it as a success, was the 'election' of several parish councillors in 2010-2011. This was a brilliant strategy devised by Clive Jefferson, they looked for seats which were uncontested, and then walked into them. It isn't winning if you're the only one playing Clive!
In order to show how irrelevant the 2009 European Elections are, and the claim that 1,000,000 people support / voted for the BNP, let's gather some more recent numbers. In the 2011 local elections the BNP didn't even appear on the radar. They were wiped out of Stoke on Trent, all five councillors were lost. They were only defending 13 seats nationwide and lost a massive 11 of these. Not a single new seat was gained.
In the 2009 European Elections turnout across Great Britain was 15,136,932, representing 34% of the electorate. The BNP got 943,598 votes working out at just over 6.2% of the total, not bad really.
In the 2010 General Election turnout across Great Britain was 29,691,780, representing 65% of the electorate. The BNP got 563,743 votes working out at 1.9% of the total, not that good really, and a much more realistic picture of the electorate's attitude towards the BNP.
To truly understand the 2010 General Election results, we need to look at the previous one.
In the 2005 General Election turnout across Great Britain was 27,148,510, representing 61% of the electorate. The BNP got 192,745 votes working out at 0.7% of the total.
So the BNP's share of the vote increased between 2005 and 2010, SUCCESS! Well, no. Whilst their share of the vote increased, this doesn't mean anything in terms of getting elected. The BNP applied a unique strategy of 'fling enough shit and some will stick'. They threw out a record 338 candidates, anybody who wanted to stand was allowed. This was the strategy. But a candidate isn't elected on the nationwide total, this is why the Green party focused on Brighton, and successfully gained an MP!
We need to look at the average votes for each BNP candidate:
In 2005 the average votes per candidate for the BNP was 1,647
In 2010 the average votes per candidate for the BNP was 1,663
This represents an increase of an extra 16 votes per candidate.
Which is nothing.
This was all about numbers for Griffin! There was no policy of actually growing in terms of political power, he just needed numbers to plaster all over the website! 338 candidates! 563,743 votes! Wow! Next! The World! It was an absolute waste of money, it costs £500 to stand and if you get less than 5% of the vote, then you lose it. 265 lost deposits cost the BNP £132,500.
The only thing they have to talk about, being careful not to use the word success here, but they certainly seemed to see it as a success, was the 'election' of several parish councillors in 2010-2011. This was a brilliant strategy devised by Clive Jefferson, they looked for seats which were uncontested, and then walked into them. It isn't winning if you're the only one playing Clive!
1,000,000 voted for the BNP! Foam! Foam!
It is a common claim, one often heard if the rights of the BNP are infringed upon, whenever the BNP are publicy attacked, we hear the same old "how can the establishment deny the right of a million people?", "democratically elected", etc. etc. blah. blah. foam. foam. One million endorsed them! Voted for! Support the BNP! ...apparently, or do they?
Firstly, 943,598 people voted for the BNP in the European elections, the one they're referring to. This is actually 56,402 off 1 million, over 56,000 shy of that golden seven digit number. 56,000? That's a lot of people, a lot of votes! If we're just going to casually throw 56,000 votes around like that, then how's about this? I start the Turkey Party, recieve no votes, but round up by 56,000? Which is still 402 off their claim! That would make the Turkey Party Britain's fastest growing political party? 56,000 members all standing up for the rights of Turkeys! Right? Well, no! And it's a ridiculous example, but so is the BNP's claim. Interestingly, the phrase 'Britain's Fastest Growing Political Party' sounds very familiar!
If this was any other organisation, they would round up to 944,000, or 950,000 at a push. Sure, it's getting close to 1,000,000, but it's actually closer to 900,000. So that's that one debunked.
However, this was two years ago! A lot has happened since then. So to claim that 950,000, sorry 1,000,000, would still vote for, and support the BNP is actually quite stupid, and misleading! The BNP leadership wouldn't try to mislead us would they? Surely not.
It is also important to consider that these were the European Elections. Two points to make here; many people don't quite understand them, don't see them as being relevant and use them to give the Government a good kicking. Don't forget, this was at the height of the expenses scandal. They don't really matter that much, I don't even remember who I voted for or what I felt, I might have even voted for the BNP, just for a laugh. Well, I didn't go that far.
The other point to consider is that the BNP are totally opposed to the European Union. They hate it, yet, it's the only damned thing they could get elected to. It must burn the fingertips of the likes of Paul Morris to write MEP after Brons/Griffin. The pride, MEP, wow! But then, the realisation of what it actually means. Member of the European Parliament. Not MP, that would be something, and Nick tried, bless him. Only recently has Nick realised how to play this one, he is now a 'voice of dissent within the European Parliament', well, actually Nick, we already have loads of those, and ones who are doing a lot more than you over there!
Firstly, 943,598 people voted for the BNP in the European elections, the one they're referring to. This is actually 56,402 off 1 million, over 56,000 shy of that golden seven digit number. 56,000? That's a lot of people, a lot of votes! If we're just going to casually throw 56,000 votes around like that, then how's about this? I start the Turkey Party, recieve no votes, but round up by 56,000? Which is still 402 off their claim! That would make the Turkey Party Britain's fastest growing political party? 56,000 members all standing up for the rights of Turkeys! Right? Well, no! And it's a ridiculous example, but so is the BNP's claim. Interestingly, the phrase 'Britain's Fastest Growing Political Party' sounds very familiar!
If this was any other organisation, they would round up to 944,000, or 950,000 at a push. Sure, it's getting close to 1,000,000, but it's actually closer to 900,000. So that's that one debunked.
However, this was two years ago! A lot has happened since then. So to claim that 950,000, sorry 1,000,000, would still vote for, and support the BNP is actually quite stupid, and misleading! The BNP leadership wouldn't try to mislead us would they? Surely not.
It is also important to consider that these were the European Elections. Two points to make here; many people don't quite understand them, don't see them as being relevant and use them to give the Government a good kicking. Don't forget, this was at the height of the expenses scandal. They don't really matter that much, I don't even remember who I voted for or what I felt, I might have even voted for the BNP, just for a laugh. Well, I didn't go that far.
The other point to consider is that the BNP are totally opposed to the European Union. They hate it, yet, it's the only damned thing they could get elected to. It must burn the fingertips of the likes of Paul Morris to write MEP after Brons/Griffin. The pride, MEP, wow! But then, the realisation of what it actually means. Member of the European Parliament. Not MP, that would be something, and Nick tried, bless him. Only recently has Nick realised how to play this one, he is now a 'voice of dissent within the European Parliament', well, actually Nick, we already have loads of those, and ones who are doing a lot more than you over there!
The figures speak for themselves...
Finally getting round to using Twitter here at the Turkey Farm. Still don't quite understand it, but I can see it's potential in drumming up followers and promoting the farm. If anybody wants to add me I think this is how you'll find me http://twitter.com/#!/turkeybreath6
Having a look through this blogs statistics today, and the EDL article still by far the most read on here! The BNP just aren't good for business anymore, which is a shame, because there's plenty more in the pipeline.
Anyone interested in the ongoing charade of a leadership election should go see Griffin's hillarious video! I've always argued he's just a a fat angry man, and this video doesn't do him any favours in dispelling that sentiment!
TB
Having a look through this blogs statistics today, and the EDL article still by far the most read on here! The BNP just aren't good for business anymore, which is a shame, because there's plenty more in the pipeline.
Anyone interested in the ongoing charade of a leadership election should go see Griffin's hillarious video! I've always argued he's just a a fat angry man, and this video doesn't do him any favours in dispelling that sentiment!
TB
Wednesday 6 July 2011
Nick reveals another 'state sponsored pressure valve'
Nick Griffin's homestead might be in for a cold winter after an incident involving him ripping a 'state sponsored' pressure valve out of his home's heating system.
BNP news reported:
"Nick Griffin MEP discovered a state plot to plant a state sponsored pressure valve in the heart of his political empire. Our gracious leader acted swiftly, destroying the valve to ensure it couldn't leech any votes off the massive BNP political machine.
The plot had all the hallmarks of a LibLabCon conspiracy to confuse voters by offering a phony alternative, one which doesn't have the true intentions of preserving the Indigenous British people at the heart. They will try anything to stop us making our massive gains!
Nick is advising all loyal patriots to open up their boilers and pull out any other state sponsored pressure valves so they can be destroyed. Don't listen to the advice of a qualified Gas-Safe engineer as they're all state agents. Donate now to stop this happening in the future."
Turkey Breath investigated the story: It all started with a routine visit from a gas engineer who informed Jackie their heating system needed a new part if it was to run soundly through the winter. Jackie said "Nick was away on the gravy train, and I didn't want to have a cold winter, I don't know anything about boilers or valves so I told the engineer to do what it takes, I got the company credit card out and let him get on with it, how was I supposed to know he was a state sponsored agent?".
Upon returning home and hearing of the news, Nick was said to be livid, Jackie said "I told him we had a new pressure valve installed and he got all paranoid, asking who installed it and if Clive had given the go ahead for the work. I told him no, but that it was a reputable engineer and that if we hadn't had it done it could have exploded, he didn't want to know, he was sweating and swearing and blaming me for the BNP's electoral decline. Nick pulled the boiler cover off and wrestled the valve out, it was like watching a hungry bear rip open a car door, I haven't seen him so angry and so strong in years! He went outside, got a gun and started shooting at it".
We spoke to the engineer who told us "a boiler can be very dangerous without a pressure valve, it's only a matter of time before it will explode. Fortunately for Nick, he buggered the boiler anyway, so it won't work at all. Seems like a waste of money to me, but if he won't take my word for it what can I do? The payment bounced anyway, I phoned the BNP and they just laughed at me, telling me to join the queue, all seems very unfair".
Jackie had to phone for an emergency engineer to come back out as Nick hadn't shut the gas off, and the house was slowly filling with gasses leaking from the ruined boiler, she added that in order to avoid another state agent getting into their home they're planning on installing several wood burning stoves throughout the house, "we have years worth of BNP court documents to get burning, and the accounts, we should probably get rid of them too".
BNP news reported:
"Nick Griffin MEP discovered a state plot to plant a state sponsored pressure valve in the heart of his political empire. Our gracious leader acted swiftly, destroying the valve to ensure it couldn't leech any votes off the massive BNP political machine.
The plot had all the hallmarks of a LibLabCon conspiracy to confuse voters by offering a phony alternative, one which doesn't have the true intentions of preserving the Indigenous British people at the heart. They will try anything to stop us making our massive gains!
Nick is advising all loyal patriots to open up their boilers and pull out any other state sponsored pressure valves so they can be destroyed. Don't listen to the advice of a qualified Gas-Safe engineer as they're all state agents. Donate now to stop this happening in the future."
Turkey Breath investigated the story: It all started with a routine visit from a gas engineer who informed Jackie their heating system needed a new part if it was to run soundly through the winter. Jackie said "Nick was away on the gravy train, and I didn't want to have a cold winter, I don't know anything about boilers or valves so I told the engineer to do what it takes, I got the company credit card out and let him get on with it, how was I supposed to know he was a state sponsored agent?".
Upon returning home and hearing of the news, Nick was said to be livid, Jackie said "I told him we had a new pressure valve installed and he got all paranoid, asking who installed it and if Clive had given the go ahead for the work. I told him no, but that it was a reputable engineer and that if we hadn't had it done it could have exploded, he didn't want to know, he was sweating and swearing and blaming me for the BNP's electoral decline. Nick pulled the boiler cover off and wrestled the valve out, it was like watching a hungry bear rip open a car door, I haven't seen him so angry and so strong in years! He went outside, got a gun and started shooting at it".
We spoke to the engineer who told us "a boiler can be very dangerous without a pressure valve, it's only a matter of time before it will explode. Fortunately for Nick, he buggered the boiler anyway, so it won't work at all. Seems like a waste of money to me, but if he won't take my word for it what can I do? The payment bounced anyway, I phoned the BNP and they just laughed at me, telling me to join the queue, all seems very unfair".
Jackie had to phone for an emergency engineer to come back out as Nick hadn't shut the gas off, and the house was slowly filling with gasses leaking from the ruined boiler, she added that in order to avoid another state agent getting into their home they're planning on installing several wood burning stoves throughout the house, "we have years worth of BNP court documents to get burning, and the accounts, we should probably get rid of them too".
Friday 1 July 2011
The BNP's New Musical Venture...
Transcript from an exclusive interview featuring Nick 'The Griffin' Griffin MEP, Cllr. Clive 'Jeffers' Jefferson and Simon D-D-Darby talking about their new music venture on Radio RWB.
Presenter: So then fella's, here we are again, in Simon's bedroom recording yet another interview using some free software, Clive, why don't you start us off with why you're here today?
Clive: Where?
Nick: Well, you see, we decided to form a band, a new band...
Simon: Something rocking!
Presenter: Explain...
Nick: We've all had musical ventures in the past, quite successful ones too, I myself penned several songs on some very successful nationalist CD's we sold, and Clive here, he sings an excellent rendition of 'In the Navy' down at his local on a Friday night, and Simon has spent his Friday nights singing on Singstar with some female activist in the past...
Simon: Young, young female activist Nick...
Presenter: So you all got together and what? Just threw some ideas around? Because you do work together quite a lot, and you're all busy?
Simon: It was difficult getting us all together, but where there's a way there's a will, as they say...
Nick: More or less the case, we knew we wanted to form a band and make some money, we had to come up with a name first though, we had loads of ideas, we all settled on something ending in 'With Attitude', partly because it's original, it's catchy and it can be formed into an acronym making it easy to remember.
Simon: We just had to decide on the other half of the name, this was the tricky part.
Nick: Clive wanted 'Councillors With Attitude' and Simon wanted 'Press Officers with Attitude', I wanted 'British National Party With Attitude'.
Simon: None of them seemed to encompass all three of us, I'm not a member of the BNP any more, so the BNPWA just wouldn't work, nor am I a councillor, we needed something that would really say what we're about, Nick came up with it though...
Presenter: Nationalists With Attitude!
Nick: Yes! Or NWA. This is where it all got exciting,
Simon: N! W! A! It just sounds cool!
Nick: N! W! A!
Clive: N! A! W!
Simon: And with such a 'down with the kids' name we had to then choose names for ourselves, to match it's snazziness, to stitch coolness through the patchwork of our record, we wanted the NWA idea to go beyond music.
Nick: I went for Nick 'The Griffin' Griffin MEP, it really says what I'm about, a legendary creature with the body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle. As the lion was traditionally considered the king of the beasts and the eagle was the king of the birds, the griffin was thought to be an especially powerful and majestic creature, and Griffins are known for guarding treasure and priceless possessions, so it just worked! You know, it just worked. I didn't even realise it myself, I had to look on Wikipedia to find out what a Griffin was.
Presenter: And what about you Clive?
Clive: Huh?
Simon: Clive's was quite simple, we just used his nick name, and mine came from doing a few demos first, I had trouble choosing a name, it's like choosing a fine £5 wine, but once we had mixed a few tunes, D-D-Darby really seemed to have something about it, something cool and out there, out of the box, you know.
Presenter: Yes, well, the three of you certainly sound cool now, so tell me... where did it go from there?
Nick: Well, you see, we needed money first, so we sent out some letters to the membership asking for something, i don't know, to do with Britain, and when the first £15 came in, after a few months, we went out and bought a microphone, Clive already had a Casio keyboard from years ago and I didn't really need anything but a pen and paper, you know, just to write out the lyrics...
Simon: These things take time, we had an election to win, but we figured, seeing as we did so well in 2009, we could just leave the electioneering to other people and crack on with our music..
Nick: We started writing first, lyrics first and then music is what we said. It worked, we had several songs written in a few hours, I don't know what Joey used to whinge about.
Presenter: Why was Joey Smith not involved on this project?
Nick: We wanted it to be a challenge, he has had such a successful career, selling in excess of ten albums now I believe...
Clive: His mum bought eight of them...
Nick: We wanted it to be difficult, so people couldn't turn around and say, well, you had Joey Smith, there's no wonder you did so well. The left wing press are so mean to us in everything we do, we wanted something they couldn't have a dig at...
Presenter: And what was it that inspired you?
Nick: Money...
Simon: I've always wanted people to like me...
Presenter: But what actually inspired you on this record, what went into the songs?
Nick: Well, you see, modern music is dominated by darkies, and homo's, and other funny types, mostly Americans too, we wanted something British, but we knew it had to sell, otherwise, what's the point? I don't just do something for no return...
Simon: Did that owl sanctuary ever pay you?
Nick: No, legal proceedings are taking place as we speak...
Simon: Good! Fucking owls!
Clive: Is there no food in this house?
Nick: Clive, Simon, please, your leader is talking here...
Simon: You said in this music business we were all equals?
Nick: The music had to be something different too, and our nationalist edge was it, most nationalist music is a bit shit, that last record Joey did, let's say, it's as well it isn't just about the music...
Presenter: So the inspiration came through a lack of British orientated music in Britain?
Nick: Yes, well, there are British acts out there, but they aren't truly British, how many of them can trace their ancestry back to before 1066? The things they sing about aren't British either, we wanted to make sure that British ears were listening to British artists singing about British things.
Simon: And obviously...
Nick: People will listen to a song over and over again and take all the words in, in a way that you would be very lucky to get one in 100 of them to listen to a speech. Music is a very effective way of getting our views across...
Simon: Obviously, our music transcended barriers, it went far beyond nationalist issues, but there was a nationalist core, a beating heart of defiance in every song!
Clive: What does transcend mean?
Simon: Never mind Clive.
Clive: Core? What does core mean?
Simon: Like an apple core...
Presenter: What would you say was the most challenging aspect of this project?
Nick: Finding time, we're all busy, Clive was busy driving the truth truck, Simon is always... what is it you do? and I like to go to Europe to pretend I'm a politician. It was difficult...
Simon: But we did it, we just had to say, right, let's all meet up and get going, it's easier for me I suppose, I don't even have a proper job, but Clive I know is very busy, and Nick is just a demon when it comes to working, he recently won Hardest Working MEP in the BNP you know...
Presenter: Well done Nick!
Nick: Thank you, these things just come naturally to me.
Presenter: So what now? Do you have any interest in the record? Any contracts? Any plans for another record?
Nick: Well of course we have plans for more, we had so much fun doing it, but we'll see how many million we sell first and play it from there before we commit to anything...
Simon: We're still waiting to hear from EMI and some other smaller record companies, but if they aren't interested, we'll go with Great White, we just wanted to give a smaller company a chance first.
Presenter: Who designed the record sleeve?
Nick: Simon did, we wanted something simple. But eye catching.
Simon: I wanted a picture of me on it, next to something British.
Nick; We agreed it had to either have all three of us on, or none of us, and because Clive is quite, well, he isn't very photogenic shall we say, we decided to just have a picture of me on it. I am the face of the BNP, and the British people, I didn't want it to be this way, if it had been down to me, all three of us would be on there, but our marketing team know best, and they said it was the way to go.
Presenter: So beyond music and attitude, coolness and style, what else went into the record?
Simon: Nick wanted to put 1066 songs on there, as a big up yours to the establishment, but we just couldn't do it.
Presenter: You could have named track ten, 66?
Nick: Shit. SHIT. Why didn't you think of that Darby, what do I pay you for!
Presenter: So which is your favourite song, between all three of you, is there one?
Nick: Well, we're all quite fond of 'That Special Lady', we won't mention who she is, but let's just say we're all quite well acquainted with her... if you know what I mean...
Simon: Oh yes, she is a special lady...
Clive: Is she still running RWB or can I do it now?
Presenter: And now we will...
Clive: I WROTE SLEEPING THE TRUTH TRUCK!
Presenter: Ahh yes, track two, explain this one to our listeners...
Nick: After the mellow opening song we wanted something gritty, Clive wrote and composed this one and it slotted in there nicely...
Simon: It's quite a heavy song, we got a lot of pots and pans and some wooden spoons, it makes a good sound, lots of bass.
Presenter: Lyrically, it's quite gruesome, why?
Nick: I haven't listened to it.
Presenter: The bit about using a carrier bag as a toilet.
Nick: What carrier bag?
Clive: Never mind...
Nick: The bag in the truth truck? Oh god... that's what was in that bag?It said Clive on the side, I thought it was food!?
Presenter: OK... One last thing, when is it released guys?
Simon: I'm printing the album covers right now, I ran out of ink, I tried shaking the cartridge but I dropped it and got some on the carpet, so I had to go out and buy some but it was really expensive so I had a look on the internet and found it a lot cheaper but I have to wait an extra five days, I thought it was worth it for a 50p saving.
Presenter: And now, exclusive to RadioRWB: NWA talk us though some of their favourite tracks on their new record:
Simon: Lost in the Meat Section of the Supermarket. This is about buying cheap meat in the supermarket, and it being expensive, it's what I consider cheap expensive meat. I really wanted to let people in on my pain of hovering around waiting for a cheap cut to come out, sometimes, I stick my finger into a pack and take it to the butcher to get it reduced, but sometimes they take it off me and say they can't sell it in that condition, not even reduced, it's very painful for me.
Clive: This was my song about living in the Truth truck, it's called Sleeping in the Truth Truck, and is about having to shit in a pot noodle and eat a carrier bag.. No, shit in a carrier bag and eat pot noodles made with cold water, for weeks on end.
Nick: We are the Indigenous British Champions. Ahh I wrote this one, it is about winning the European Elections back in 2009, it's a song aimed to boost morale amongst our ranks and remind them of the good old days and why they should send me more money, I sing about wanting to destroy the European Parliament from within, and then realising that it's actually quite a cushy number.
Nick: You Never Give me Enough of your Money. Another one about those greedy members, we send out letter after letter and just never get anything back, it costs us more to send them out most of the time.
Nick: Fixing a Hole. This one is about the burden of having to keep a massive farm house and estate in good working condition. Things always need renewing, replacing, fixing etc. It's just a nuisance. I wanted to get this across, so that people everywhere know how hard it is for me and why they send me more money or at least come round and tidy up or something!
Simon: That Special Lady. This is a personal one, written by all three of us, just listen to Clive doing his Beach Boys whaaa-whooo-whoooo-whaaaa in the background, it makes your heart melt. I hope she hears of it and thinks of me.
Nick: Together. Another song aimed at rallying the troops, I sing about how we can all do this together if we have more money, trust is a big thing in politics, and if you can trust us to spend your money on saving the British people then we can save the British people, those indigenous to these islands after the last ice age but before 1066.
Presenter: That's brilliant. Thanks for that. I'm sure our listeners will be rattling the doors of HMV in the morning. OK, one last thing before we go guys, are you aware there is already a music act out there called NWA...
Presenter: So then fella's, here we are again, in Simon's bedroom recording yet another interview using some free software, Clive, why don't you start us off with why you're here today?
Clive: Where?
Nick: Well, you see, we decided to form a band, a new band...
Simon: Something rocking!
Presenter: Explain...
Nick: We've all had musical ventures in the past, quite successful ones too, I myself penned several songs on some very successful nationalist CD's we sold, and Clive here, he sings an excellent rendition of 'In the Navy' down at his local on a Friday night, and Simon has spent his Friday nights singing on Singstar with some female activist in the past...
Simon: Young, young female activist Nick...
Presenter: So you all got together and what? Just threw some ideas around? Because you do work together quite a lot, and you're all busy?
Simon: It was difficult getting us all together, but where there's a way there's a will, as they say...
Nick: More or less the case, we knew we wanted to form a band and make some money, we had to come up with a name first though, we had loads of ideas, we all settled on something ending in 'With Attitude', partly because it's original, it's catchy and it can be formed into an acronym making it easy to remember.
Simon: We just had to decide on the other half of the name, this was the tricky part.
Nick: Clive wanted 'Councillors With Attitude' and Simon wanted 'Press Officers with Attitude', I wanted 'British National Party With Attitude'.
Simon: None of them seemed to encompass all three of us, I'm not a member of the BNP any more, so the BNPWA just wouldn't work, nor am I a councillor, we needed something that would really say what we're about, Nick came up with it though...
Presenter: Nationalists With Attitude!
Nick: Yes! Or NWA. This is where it all got exciting,
Simon: N! W! A! It just sounds cool!
Nick: N! W! A!
Clive: N! A! W!
Simon: And with such a 'down with the kids' name we had to then choose names for ourselves, to match it's snazziness, to stitch coolness through the patchwork of our record, we wanted the NWA idea to go beyond music.
Nick: I went for Nick 'The Griffin' Griffin MEP, it really says what I'm about, a legendary creature with the body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle. As the lion was traditionally considered the king of the beasts and the eagle was the king of the birds, the griffin was thought to be an especially powerful and majestic creature, and Griffins are known for guarding treasure and priceless possessions, so it just worked! You know, it just worked. I didn't even realise it myself, I had to look on Wikipedia to find out what a Griffin was.
Presenter: And what about you Clive?
Clive: Huh?
Simon: Clive's was quite simple, we just used his nick name, and mine came from doing a few demos first, I had trouble choosing a name, it's like choosing a fine £5 wine, but once we had mixed a few tunes, D-D-Darby really seemed to have something about it, something cool and out there, out of the box, you know.
Presenter: Yes, well, the three of you certainly sound cool now, so tell me... where did it go from there?
Nick: Well, you see, we needed money first, so we sent out some letters to the membership asking for something, i don't know, to do with Britain, and when the first £15 came in, after a few months, we went out and bought a microphone, Clive already had a Casio keyboard from years ago and I didn't really need anything but a pen and paper, you know, just to write out the lyrics...
Simon: These things take time, we had an election to win, but we figured, seeing as we did so well in 2009, we could just leave the electioneering to other people and crack on with our music..
Nick: We started writing first, lyrics first and then music is what we said. It worked, we had several songs written in a few hours, I don't know what Joey used to whinge about.
Presenter: Why was Joey Smith not involved on this project?
Nick: We wanted it to be a challenge, he has had such a successful career, selling in excess of ten albums now I believe...
Clive: His mum bought eight of them...
Nick: We wanted it to be difficult, so people couldn't turn around and say, well, you had Joey Smith, there's no wonder you did so well. The left wing press are so mean to us in everything we do, we wanted something they couldn't have a dig at...
Presenter: And what was it that inspired you?
Nick: Money...
Simon: I've always wanted people to like me...
Presenter: But what actually inspired you on this record, what went into the songs?
Nick: Well, you see, modern music is dominated by darkies, and homo's, and other funny types, mostly Americans too, we wanted something British, but we knew it had to sell, otherwise, what's the point? I don't just do something for no return...
Simon: Did that owl sanctuary ever pay you?
Nick: No, legal proceedings are taking place as we speak...
Simon: Good! Fucking owls!
Clive: Is there no food in this house?
Nick: Clive, Simon, please, your leader is talking here...
Simon: You said in this music business we were all equals?
Nick: The music had to be something different too, and our nationalist edge was it, most nationalist music is a bit shit, that last record Joey did, let's say, it's as well it isn't just about the music...
Presenter: So the inspiration came through a lack of British orientated music in Britain?
Nick: Yes, well, there are British acts out there, but they aren't truly British, how many of them can trace their ancestry back to before 1066? The things they sing about aren't British either, we wanted to make sure that British ears were listening to British artists singing about British things.
Simon: And obviously...
Nick: People will listen to a song over and over again and take all the words in, in a way that you would be very lucky to get one in 100 of them to listen to a speech. Music is a very effective way of getting our views across...
Simon: Obviously, our music transcended barriers, it went far beyond nationalist issues, but there was a nationalist core, a beating heart of defiance in every song!
Clive: What does transcend mean?
Simon: Never mind Clive.
Clive: Core? What does core mean?
Simon: Like an apple core...
Presenter: What would you say was the most challenging aspect of this project?
Nick: Finding time, we're all busy, Clive was busy driving the truth truck, Simon is always... what is it you do? and I like to go to Europe to pretend I'm a politician. It was difficult...
Simon: But we did it, we just had to say, right, let's all meet up and get going, it's easier for me I suppose, I don't even have a proper job, but Clive I know is very busy, and Nick is just a demon when it comes to working, he recently won Hardest Working MEP in the BNP you know...
Presenter: Well done Nick!
Nick: Thank you, these things just come naturally to me.
Presenter: So what now? Do you have any interest in the record? Any contracts? Any plans for another record?
Nick: Well of course we have plans for more, we had so much fun doing it, but we'll see how many million we sell first and play it from there before we commit to anything...
Simon: We're still waiting to hear from EMI and some other smaller record companies, but if they aren't interested, we'll go with Great White, we just wanted to give a smaller company a chance first.
Presenter: Who designed the record sleeve?
Nick: Simon did, we wanted something simple. But eye catching.
Simon: I wanted a picture of me on it, next to something British.
Nick; We agreed it had to either have all three of us on, or none of us, and because Clive is quite, well, he isn't very photogenic shall we say, we decided to just have a picture of me on it. I am the face of the BNP, and the British people, I didn't want it to be this way, if it had been down to me, all three of us would be on there, but our marketing team know best, and they said it was the way to go.
Presenter: So beyond music and attitude, coolness and style, what else went into the record?
Simon: Nick wanted to put 1066 songs on there, as a big up yours to the establishment, but we just couldn't do it.
Presenter: You could have named track ten, 66?
Nick: Shit. SHIT. Why didn't you think of that Darby, what do I pay you for!
Presenter: So which is your favourite song, between all three of you, is there one?
Nick: Well, we're all quite fond of 'That Special Lady', we won't mention who she is, but let's just say we're all quite well acquainted with her... if you know what I mean...
Simon: Oh yes, she is a special lady...
Clive: Is she still running RWB or can I do it now?
Presenter: And now we will...
Clive: I WROTE SLEEPING THE TRUTH TRUCK!
Presenter: Ahh yes, track two, explain this one to our listeners...
Nick: After the mellow opening song we wanted something gritty, Clive wrote and composed this one and it slotted in there nicely...
Simon: It's quite a heavy song, we got a lot of pots and pans and some wooden spoons, it makes a good sound, lots of bass.
Presenter: Lyrically, it's quite gruesome, why?
Nick: I haven't listened to it.
Presenter: The bit about using a carrier bag as a toilet.
Nick: What carrier bag?
Clive: Never mind...
Nick: The bag in the truth truck? Oh god... that's what was in that bag?It said Clive on the side, I thought it was food!?
Presenter: OK... One last thing, when is it released guys?
Simon: I'm printing the album covers right now, I ran out of ink, I tried shaking the cartridge but I dropped it and got some on the carpet, so I had to go out and buy some but it was really expensive so I had a look on the internet and found it a lot cheaper but I have to wait an extra five days, I thought it was worth it for a 50p saving.
Presenter: And now, exclusive to RadioRWB: NWA talk us though some of their favourite tracks on their new record:
Simon: Lost in the Meat Section of the Supermarket. This is about buying cheap meat in the supermarket, and it being expensive, it's what I consider cheap expensive meat. I really wanted to let people in on my pain of hovering around waiting for a cheap cut to come out, sometimes, I stick my finger into a pack and take it to the butcher to get it reduced, but sometimes they take it off me and say they can't sell it in that condition, not even reduced, it's very painful for me.
Clive: This was my song about living in the Truth truck, it's called Sleeping in the Truth Truck, and is about having to shit in a pot noodle and eat a carrier bag.. No, shit in a carrier bag and eat pot noodles made with cold water, for weeks on end.
Nick: We are the Indigenous British Champions. Ahh I wrote this one, it is about winning the European Elections back in 2009, it's a song aimed to boost morale amongst our ranks and remind them of the good old days and why they should send me more money, I sing about wanting to destroy the European Parliament from within, and then realising that it's actually quite a cushy number.
Nick: You Never Give me Enough of your Money. Another one about those greedy members, we send out letter after letter and just never get anything back, it costs us more to send them out most of the time.
Nick: Fixing a Hole. This one is about the burden of having to keep a massive farm house and estate in good working condition. Things always need renewing, replacing, fixing etc. It's just a nuisance. I wanted to get this across, so that people everywhere know how hard it is for me and why they send me more money or at least come round and tidy up or something!
Simon: That Special Lady. This is a personal one, written by all three of us, just listen to Clive doing his Beach Boys whaaa-whooo-whoooo-whaaaa in the background, it makes your heart melt. I hope she hears of it and thinks of me.
Nick: Together. Another song aimed at rallying the troops, I sing about how we can all do this together if we have more money, trust is a big thing in politics, and if you can trust us to spend your money on saving the British people then we can save the British people, those indigenous to these islands after the last ice age but before 1066.
Presenter: That's brilliant. Thanks for that. I'm sure our listeners will be rattling the doors of HMV in the morning. OK, one last thing before we go guys, are you aware there is already a music act out there called NWA...
Tuesday 28 June 2011
Stats!
The EDL Acronym article has certainly boosted traffic to the Turkey Farm this last week! Loads coming in from Twitter and the British Democracy Forum! I only send the articles to Lancaster Unity, and they spread from there. Interestingly, the always end up on the BDF very sharpish, more on that in a minute. I guess people have no interest in the BNP any more? Oh well, I'll still gobble them now and again, working on a long one as I type, all about Nick, Clive and Eyebrows.
It seems that on the BDF it is considered 'treacherous' to read opposing blogs / opinion. Turkey Breath would like to point out that he spends more time reading far-right news / blogs / bullshit than he does anything else. How else can you really gain an insight into your topic / enemy? I thoroughly believe if you're confident in your conviction and opinion then it doesn't hurt to read what others are saying about you and your cause? It is in fact beneficial and illuminating, allowing you to not only get news fast but also balance truth to some degree. Clearly, some of the more 'boneheaded' types amongst us aren't so confident and thus choose to only read what they believe to be 'safe'. I can't blame them, it must be so easy being ignorant. I myself used to hate chickens, ahhhh gobble gobble they get all the glory, all year round people want chicken!
If it wasn't for this desire to learn and understand, I wouldn't have witnessed the breakdown of Paul 'Green Arrow' Morris. I mean, you can go read through his British Resistance website right now and see all the articles, but it wouldn't be the same; logging on every day to see if he has posted a new article. All he wanted was his hero, Nick Griffin MEP, mustn't forget the MEP bit, to make everything all right, and as he opened his eyes to his betrayal, it only got worse, the greatest being the granny pornstar issue! And then the BNP officially banned its members from his website! I always thought it would be Nick and Paul in the bunker together, with Darby, Jefferson etc. off cosying up to someone new, but no, now the Green Arrow is a shining light of wider British Nationalism, appealing for somebody to save the BNP. Or some shit like that.
The hillarious thing with Morris is, he still can't just accept that the BNP attracts morons, thugs, crooks etc. and that these are the reason the BNP is falling apart. He is still blaming the left for its implosion, although now instead of throwing accusations at anybody who doesn't support the BNP, it's now thrown at people who don't support him. And who is he really? A fat guy living in a caravan writing an angry blog reminiscing about the good old days, good old says even he doesn't understand? Paul, when you get kicked off the camp site, you can always come live on the Turkey Farm! Free twizzlers! Gobble Gobble!
Turkey Breath Out.
Gobble Gobble.
It seems that on the BDF it is considered 'treacherous' to read opposing blogs / opinion. Turkey Breath would like to point out that he spends more time reading far-right news / blogs / bullshit than he does anything else. How else can you really gain an insight into your topic / enemy? I thoroughly believe if you're confident in your conviction and opinion then it doesn't hurt to read what others are saying about you and your cause? It is in fact beneficial and illuminating, allowing you to not only get news fast but also balance truth to some degree. Clearly, some of the more 'boneheaded' types amongst us aren't so confident and thus choose to only read what they believe to be 'safe'. I can't blame them, it must be so easy being ignorant. I myself used to hate chickens, ahhhh gobble gobble they get all the glory, all year round people want chicken!
If it wasn't for this desire to learn and understand, I wouldn't have witnessed the breakdown of Paul 'Green Arrow' Morris. I mean, you can go read through his British Resistance website right now and see all the articles, but it wouldn't be the same; logging on every day to see if he has posted a new article. All he wanted was his hero, Nick Griffin MEP, mustn't forget the MEP bit, to make everything all right, and as he opened his eyes to his betrayal, it only got worse, the greatest being the granny pornstar issue! And then the BNP officially banned its members from his website! I always thought it would be Nick and Paul in the bunker together, with Darby, Jefferson etc. off cosying up to someone new, but no, now the Green Arrow is a shining light of wider British Nationalism, appealing for somebody to save the BNP. Or some shit like that.
The hillarious thing with Morris is, he still can't just accept that the BNP attracts morons, thugs, crooks etc. and that these are the reason the BNP is falling apart. He is still blaming the left for its implosion, although now instead of throwing accusations at anybody who doesn't support the BNP, it's now thrown at people who don't support him. And who is he really? A fat guy living in a caravan writing an angry blog reminiscing about the good old days, good old says even he doesn't understand? Paul, when you get kicked off the camp site, you can always come live on the Turkey Farm! Free twizzlers! Gobble Gobble!
Turkey Breath Out.
Gobble Gobble.
Tuesday 21 June 2011
EDL Acronym Trouble: Forgetting Who They Are?
It seems the English Defence League (EDL) have been having an identity crisis. Their members, many of whom have trouble spelling their own first name, have got themselves confused over their own 'organisations' acronym. Recently heard chanting “E L D!” during a town centre smash up, it was speculated the organisation had changed their name, however, it turns out it's a simple case of them all being a bit thick.
It was thought the constant chanting of “E E E D L” for hours on end, was a battle cry of some sort, to make their presence known when vandalising town centres and intimidating shoppers. However, it now appears this is a method, introduced by the leadership, for helping the membership remember the complicated three letter acronym.
Facebook posts are a gold mine of EDL cock-ups, some of the best include; “ELD All The Way! No Surrender”, “ELD til I die!”, “E-On Yeah!! No to Islammyfication” and “DEL Forever, No Surrender”. Whilst some could possibly be put down to typos, a number of EDL supporters have been seen sporting ELD tattoos and wearing ELD clothing, and a source reported that the EDL leadership spent thousands manufacturing ELD merchandise, which is now for sale online.
Tommy Robinson, the leader, has blamed the crisis on the BNP's leader Nick Griffin. He said in a statement: “This is all his (Nick Griffin's) fault, when he started saying we were a state sponsored pressure valve, we had to sit down and think, what's a pressure valve? And we had to think, why a state sponsored one? We just didn't understand it, we still don't. All this thinking made us stop chanting and we forgot what the acronym was.”
Robinson later claimed the “new range of ELD merchandise” is for the new EDL French Division, he said “the French say things the other way round so you see it's actually quite clever”. This resulted in a backlash from EDL supporters, ranting via Facebook “them dirty frogs aren't even English so they can't join our defence league, if they want a French Defence League then fine, but no way are we having a French Division, it just isn't democratic!”.
When we phoned for comment, the spokesperson asked us what an acronym was and if it was poisonous, “I heard we've been having trouble with em and I don't want to get hurt or owt, tha knows, I ant even got me feet on the floor just in case".
Monday 13 June 2011
Police on the lookout for attacker wearing EDL t-shirt...
Police are trying to find a thug who violently assaulted an Asian man in a shopping centre. The attack, which happened in the Wheatsheaf Centre in Rochdale town centre, was unprovoked and witnessed by several people. He was chased away by security guards after pressing a ballpoint pen in to the face of the man and racially abusing him for several minutes, “he ran like a big pansy” said a witness, stopping only to pick up his Nokia 3310 that he dropped.
The police, going on descriptions of the man, are looking for a balding, meat-head type person, described as a 'neandathall' by one witness. By sheer coincidence, the man was wearing an 'EDL Stockport' t-shirt.
To suggest the man is an EDL supporter would be absurd, as the attack was both racially motivated and violent, where as the EDL are a none violent and none racist organisation, as demonstrated by their peaceful protests up and down the country: protests which involve vandalising cars, intimidating shoppers, smashing windows and pissing up the side of Nottingham Castle.
We rang the EDL for comment, but could only hear people chanting back down the phone. Darren Hillsborough, a leading anti fascist campaigner explained to us that these incidents are mere coincidences, and couldn't be attributed to the EDL. “Their ideals are of protecting an English way of life, they don't cause any trouble, most people don't even know they have been” he said, adding that the man possibly found the t-shirt in the street, or bought it off Ebay without understanding what the logo was about.
This assault joins a long list of incidents involving people who aren't associated with the EDL causing violent and racially motivated crimes when the EDL are nearby. A man from West Bromwich, who just so happened to catch a coach all the way to Blackburn (110 miles), where there just so happened to be an EDL rally, was recently convicted of punching a police horse several times and for trying to drag the officer off the animal.
Of course, these incidents are just massive coincidences that just happen to take place when the EDL are in town.
The police, going on descriptions of the man, are looking for a balding, meat-head type person, described as a 'neandathall' by one witness. By sheer coincidence, the man was wearing an 'EDL Stockport' t-shirt.
To suggest the man is an EDL supporter would be absurd, as the attack was both racially motivated and violent, where as the EDL are a none violent and none racist organisation, as demonstrated by their peaceful protests up and down the country: protests which involve vandalising cars, intimidating shoppers, smashing windows and pissing up the side of Nottingham Castle.
We rang the EDL for comment, but could only hear people chanting back down the phone. Darren Hillsborough, a leading anti fascist campaigner explained to us that these incidents are mere coincidences, and couldn't be attributed to the EDL. “Their ideals are of protecting an English way of life, they don't cause any trouble, most people don't even know they have been” he said, adding that the man possibly found the t-shirt in the street, or bought it off Ebay without understanding what the logo was about.
This assault joins a long list of incidents involving people who aren't associated with the EDL causing violent and racially motivated crimes when the EDL are nearby. A man from West Bromwich, who just so happened to catch a coach all the way to Blackburn (110 miles), where there just so happened to be an EDL rally, was recently convicted of punching a police horse several times and for trying to drag the officer off the animal.
Of course, these incidents are just massive coincidences that just happen to take place when the EDL are in town.
If you recognise the bone head in the photo, then please contact...
Call police on 0161 856 9961 or Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.
Call police on 0161 856 9961 or Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.
-------------------------
(It turns out that the thug in this article has since been arrested and charged.)
Man charged following racist attack in town centre
A man has been charged after a racist attack on an Asian man in Rochdale town centre.
Wayne Peter Taylor, 44, of Stock Close, was charged with racially aggravated common assault.
He is due to appear at Rochdale Magistrates Court on Monday 20 June 2011.
At about 4.00pm on Monday 9 May 2011, the victim, a 31-year-old Asian man was threatened a number of times in the Wheatsheaf Centre on Yorkshire Street.
Source: Lancaster Unity / Manchester Evening News
------------------------
Wednesday 8 June 2011
Clive Jefferson Unleashes New Fundraising System
Clive Jefferson, the BNP's national treasurer, today unveiled a range of new measures to improve the BNP's fund-raising ability. Through the BNP website he announced ten 'highly effective' and 'groundbreakingly brilliant' initiatives which will 'revolutionise' their donations system and take the BNP into a new era of financial capability, a system which will leave the BNP's enemies and political adversaries 'quaking in their boots'.
We recieved a leaked copy of the article before it went to press on the BNP website,
Clive, I've gone through your article and edited the spelling mistakes and typos, it took me three fucking hours so you had better appreciate this, also, Nick says if this doesn't work don't expect to be invited to his Big, Bad, Boys Only BBQ in July.
The edit follows:
Clive Jefferson has today announced a new set of initiatives which will drive the BNP forward through financial ability and take the party into a new era of electoral breakthroughs. The new scheme, which is the brainchild of Jefferson, has been in the planning for several months, and is now ready to be rolled out.
The new fund-raising system has ten varied and very unique parts, however, they all fall under the same umbrella, the idea is to make it manageable, as being such a large organisation we had to implement a realistic system, however, we're confident that these new initiatives will quadruple our donations overnight and make much more money for Nick.
The ten elements are listed below:
Strategy One: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the George and Dragon in Little Aversham
Strategy Two: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Anglers Rest in Woodhouse Mill
Strategy Three: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Bridge Inn in Heacham Vale
Strategy Four: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Three Stags Head in Yeovil
Strategy Five: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Big Tree Public House in Hartland
Strategy Six: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Royal Oak in Somerton
Strategy Seven: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Alma public house in Corsham
Strategy Eight: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Nag's Head in Peckham
Strategy Nine: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Red Lion in Tiverton Park
Strategy Ten: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Horse and Cart in Fawley
We estimate the scheme will take around five months to fully implement, and are asking for donations to help us set up the donations tins, and also asking for any spare donations tins people may have, or even just roses tins with a hole in the top, just so long as they aren't too dented.
In the inevitable success of this scheme we plan to expand with a roll out of a further set of initiatives which will increase our system capacity by another 20%!
Simon Darby upon hearing of the new initiative announced: "Our enemies are going to shit when they see this, ten new and unique strategies which will allow the BNP to smash the Labour party up and down the country! Gone are the days of me and Nick standing on street corners with a bunch of commoners in cheap clothes and no culinary taste!"
Comments on the article were largely in praise of the new system, one member saying "Why didn't we think of this before? It has been right under our noses! For years we've been giving pennies to orphans and dogs and of course immigrants!!!!!!! Now the money can go where it is needed!". Another said "A brilliant idea, Clive should be awarded hardest working official in the BNP, shame that one has already been given to Nick this month, maybe next month?".
We recieved a leaked copy of the article before it went to press on the BNP website,
Clive, I've gone through your article and edited the spelling mistakes and typos, it took me three fucking hours so you had better appreciate this, also, Nick says if this doesn't work don't expect to be invited to his Big, Bad, Boys Only BBQ in July.
The edit follows:
Clive Jefferson has today announced a new set of initiatives which will drive the BNP forward through financial ability and take the party into a new era of electoral breakthroughs. The new scheme, which is the brainchild of Jefferson, has been in the planning for several months, and is now ready to be rolled out.
The new fund-raising system has ten varied and very unique parts, however, they all fall under the same umbrella, the idea is to make it manageable, as being such a large organisation we had to implement a realistic system, however, we're confident that these new initiatives will quadruple our donations overnight and make much more money for Nick.
The ten elements are listed below:
Strategy One: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the George and Dragon in Little Aversham
Strategy Two: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Anglers Rest in Woodhouse Mill
Strategy Three: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Bridge Inn in Heacham Vale
Strategy Four: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Three Stags Head in Yeovil
Strategy Five: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Big Tree Public House in Hartland
Strategy Six: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Royal Oak in Somerton
Strategy Seven: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Alma public house in Corsham
Strategy Eight: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Nag's Head in Peckham
Strategy Nine: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Red Lion in Tiverton Park
Strategy Ten: A state of the art donations tin on the bar in the Horse and Cart in Fawley
We estimate the scheme will take around five months to fully implement, and are asking for donations to help us set up the donations tins, and also asking for any spare donations tins people may have, or even just roses tins with a hole in the top, just so long as they aren't too dented.
In the inevitable success of this scheme we plan to expand with a roll out of a further set of initiatives which will increase our system capacity by another 20%!
Simon Darby upon hearing of the new initiative announced: "Our enemies are going to shit when they see this, ten new and unique strategies which will allow the BNP to smash the Labour party up and down the country! Gone are the days of me and Nick standing on street corners with a bunch of commoners in cheap clothes and no culinary taste!"
Comments on the article were largely in praise of the new system, one member saying "Why didn't we think of this before? It has been right under our noses! For years we've been giving pennies to orphans and dogs and of course immigrants!!!!!!! Now the money can go where it is needed!". Another said "A brilliant idea, Clive should be awarded hardest working official in the BNP, shame that one has already been given to Nick this month, maybe next month?".
Tuesday 7 June 2011
Altercation in Brussels! Video footage now online..
The footage from the BNP's altercation in Brussels has been uploaded! Eddy Butler first revealed there was a video, and the Green Arrow (haha) had a dig at Brons for not releasing it, well, now we have it!
Nothing too interesting really, it just starts heating up and then they all gobble off. Griffin throws a few accusations around, refuses to answer any questions directly and then accuses others of being liars without any kind of proof. The usual BNP meeting really.
Brons is very calm and composed, some of the others in the room not so. Brons hits the nail on the head claiming that Griffin started a civil war through the leadership election in 2010, and lays the blame firmly on Griffin and on Griffin alone, this is what seems to rile Griffin the most.
There are some out there claiming it was a lynch mob set up to trap Griffin and make him look a fool, despite it being very clear Griffin shows up uninvited. To this they have no comment, yet.
Not sure if it's just the camera angle, but Griffin doesn't look quite as plump as he usually does, Brons on the other hand looks very fat.
Turkey Breath does wonder if there will be a comment from the BNP regarding this? I mean, a bunch of people arguing and screaming in the European parliament, doesn't give us Brits a good name eh? Gobble fucking gobble!
Thursday 2 June 2011
Not much going down in the world of the BNP today
Not much going down in the world of the BNP today, Nick is in Siciliy, not really sure why. Spending more tax payer's money I guess.
For a laugh, I had a look through the Excalibur shop the other day, some brilliant stuff. The 2010 election manifesto is going cheap at £4.45 - it doesn't appear to be a common practise amongst real political parties to charge for a manifesto, but hey, who are we to judge eh? If Britain's fourth largest political party does it, maybe they all should?
On a serious note though, really lacking the inspiration recently. However, I do have an exclusive scoop on Clive Jefferson's latest "ground breaking, industry changing" fund raising initiative, more to come soon!
For a laugh, I had a look through the Excalibur shop the other day, some brilliant stuff. The 2010 election manifesto is going cheap at £4.45 - it doesn't appear to be a common practise amongst real political parties to charge for a manifesto, but hey, who are we to judge eh? If Britain's fourth largest political party does it, maybe they all should?
On a serious note though, really lacking the inspiration recently. However, I do have an exclusive scoop on Clive Jefferson's latest "ground breaking, industry changing" fund raising initiative, more to come soon!
Thursday 26 May 2011
Jackie Griffin offers Insight into a Strange Marriage
The Turkey Breath Files, featuring Jackie Griffin!
Jackie Griffin, the wife of British National Party chairman.. Let loose on Turkey Breath!
More to come soon!
Jackie Griffin, the wife of British National Party chairman.. Let loose on Turkey Breath!
Well, I'm so proud of him, I mean, I'm not even sure what he does over there, even he doesn't seem sure, but I'm very proud, I watch his videos sometimes, so charismatic, this is the reason I married this man, one day soon, he'll be running the EU!
The other day he got home, he had been away a good few days, he came in and made some joke about the gravy train, and then ran into the toilet. He called me over, I love talking to him through a door, he was saying that there are some very important delegates coming over soon and that we must put on a banquet for them. I asked him who was coming and he said it wasn't important, but that they were important and that we would have to impress them.
I went out to the shops, it took me a good few hours and two journeys to buy everything Nick wanted. I was so nervous as well, we're always having important people call round, Simon Darby came in the other day to charge his iPhone, and Clive Jefferson came in for a cheese sandwich, but this was the big one. Important delegates from the European Parliament, I had to impress them! Again I asked who was coming, he told me Jacques Pierre de Gaulle and Heinrich Schmidt amongst others. I had no idea who they were, for all I know, he could have been making them up, but this is why I'm the wife of the leader of Britains fourth largest political party and not the leader of Britains fourth largest political party, or its most popular and hard working MEP!
Anyway, hours later, the banquet was ready, I went into Nicks office, he was sat there sleeping, he is so cute when he snores, he works so hard you know! I gently woke him up, he jumped up and shouted for the Green Arrow to put down weapons. Nightmares again, it's all the pressure the state put him under. He couldn't even remember what banquet I was talking about. I told him, the one with the very important delegates, all twenty of them coming over hungry to talk about important political things, this seemed to jog his memory, he ordered me to leave and said that he would be through shortly to greet them. I heard him pick up the phone as I left, but my mind was distracted by the house phone suddenly going off. I answered it 'The Griffeeeen residence, lady of the house speaking..' as we do here, and was told by a French man, I'm assuming Jacques Pierre de Gaulle, that the important delegates wouldn't be able to make it any more. Oh how devasted I was, not because I had been up for six hours preparing the food, the table, the house and the pets, but for Nick. He was in his office waiting for them to arrive and was so very excited!
He came out and looked at me, he had this weird look in his eyes, he said, who is it? I told him it was Jacques Pierre de Gaulle and that the important delegates wouldn't be able to come over. He said to me, what, the twenty important delegates won't be able to come round and talk about important political stuff any more? I told him no. I went to hug him, but he walked into the dining room and sat down. He said, 'well no point letting good food go to waste', and started eating. I asked him if he wanted me to ring Simon up so he could come round and talk about important political stuff, but he said he'd rather just eat on his own. I went back into the kitchen and started to tidy up, I had a lot to do, it's amazing how much mess you can make preparing a meal for twenty important European delegates.
These important European delegates you know, they do this at least three times a week, I'm always preparing massive banquets for them, and they're always letting him down. It's just as well he is a kind and patient man, if I was him I wouldn't even invite them round any more but he doesn't learn, still, at least the food doesn't go to waste, Nick can eat most of it, and what he doesn't he puts in a doggie bag for Jefferson along with the scrapings.
More to come soon!
Wednesday 25 May 2011
Simon Darby has something interesting to say on his blog..
Oh no, wait, he doesn't.
All he does is whine whine whine. And then occasionally, post a photo featuring a bottle of wine..
Useless doesn't cut it.
All he does is whine whine whine. And then occasionally, post a photo featuring a bottle of wine..
Useless doesn't cut it.
Tuesday 24 May 2011
A big thank you..
I would like to say a big thank you to the dudes and dudettes at Lancaster Unity for posting to and linking to the 'Hardest working MEP' article, it gave the article and blog some real exposure.
It's also good to know that the people at the British Democracy Forum keep an eye on Lancaster Unity, as my stats show that I had as much traffic coming from BDF as I did LU. Given that the article was only on this blog and LU, I think it's fairly clear where they found it..
Still, that's why we're here..
Gobble Gobble!
It's also good to know that the people at the British Democracy Forum keep an eye on Lancaster Unity, as my stats show that I had as much traffic coming from BDF as I did LU. Given that the article was only on this blog and LU, I think it's fairly clear where they found it..
Still, that's why we're here..
Gobble Gobble!
Wednesday 18 May 2011
Nick Griffin Wins Yet Another Award!
Well Gobble Gobble! Breaking news just reaching Turkey HQ...
Nick Griffin has been voted the 'Hardest working MEP' by the Voice of Freedom Newspaper, The BNP's in house newsletter, the quality of which has been compared to that produced by a year five pupil doing a media project (but only one he rushed so he could get to play on Call of Duty before bedtime).
Andrew Brons, knowing that nobody wastes their money on the sheet of A4 propaganda, was proud to break the news on his own blog:
"We must congratulate our Chairman for having been chosen as ‘the hardest working MEP’ by the Editor of the Voice of Freedom. A crucial factor, in the Editor’s decision, seems to have been that our Chairman had not, on this occasion, used his constituency week for a family holiday. He had been working to support the Party’s candidates in the elections – something that the rest of us could do only poorly by comparison.
His award will provide his colleagues and his fellow MEPs from all parties and all countries with the inspiration to follow in his footsteps, in the hope that we might achieve even a pale shadow of his success. I am reluctant to mention my own puny efforts in the same paragraph."
Even Brons must be cringing at writing that one!
Whether or not the VoF actually considered the many other MEP's in the European Parliament, or just the two rather unproductive ones in the BNP, or even just Nick, is unknown, but we're fairly sure it came down to being between Andrew and Nick, and of course, with Nick being the boss of the gang, he got to win it!
He wins this regardless of the fact he's spent much of his time sunning himself in Cyprus (allegedly looking for a 'bolt hole' for when the paper dragon collapses), regardless of the fact the BNP is in turmoil and most importantly; regardless of the fact he hasn't achieved anything over there in Europe in over a year!
Another thing Griffo should consider, is given the BNP's poor showing in the election, maybe he should have taken that holiday after all and left them to it?
And yet, there is one more clanger hidden from the membership of the BNP: the editor of the Voice of Freedom, is one Nicholas John Griffin! Well, even we didn't see that one coming.Who does he think he is kidding?
The award up in the next issue is for 'Most hard working Chairman of the BNP who's name begins with N'.
Nick Griffin has been voted the 'Hardest working MEP' by the Voice of Freedom Newspaper, The BNP's in house newsletter, the quality of which has been compared to that produced by a year five pupil doing a media project (but only one he rushed so he could get to play on Call of Duty before bedtime).
Andrew Brons, knowing that nobody wastes their money on the sheet of A4 propaganda, was proud to break the news on his own blog:
"We must congratulate our Chairman for having been chosen as ‘the hardest working MEP’ by the Editor of the Voice of Freedom. A crucial factor, in the Editor’s decision, seems to have been that our Chairman had not, on this occasion, used his constituency week for a family holiday. He had been working to support the Party’s candidates in the elections – something that the rest of us could do only poorly by comparison.
His award will provide his colleagues and his fellow MEPs from all parties and all countries with the inspiration to follow in his footsteps, in the hope that we might achieve even a pale shadow of his success. I am reluctant to mention my own puny efforts in the same paragraph."
Even Brons must be cringing at writing that one!
Whether or not the VoF actually considered the many other MEP's in the European Parliament, or just the two rather unproductive ones in the BNP, or even just Nick, is unknown, but we're fairly sure it came down to being between Andrew and Nick, and of course, with Nick being the boss of the gang, he got to win it!
He wins this regardless of the fact he's spent much of his time sunning himself in Cyprus (allegedly looking for a 'bolt hole' for when the paper dragon collapses), regardless of the fact the BNP is in turmoil and most importantly; regardless of the fact he hasn't achieved anything over there in Europe in over a year!
Another thing Griffo should consider, is given the BNP's poor showing in the election, maybe he should have taken that holiday after all and left them to it?
And yet, there is one more clanger hidden from the membership of the BNP: the editor of the Voice of Freedom, is one Nicholas John Griffin! Well, even we didn't see that one coming.Who does he think he is kidding?
The award up in the next issue is for 'Most hard working Chairman of the BNP who's name begins with N'.
Nick Griffin Earns Two Awards in One Day!
Nick Griffin wins two awards in one day!
Nick Griffin, the portly chairman of the electorally sterile British National Party has today been given two unique awards after a recent trip to Belgium aboard the Eurostar. The first for 'Having the Biggest Shit ever' on a Eurostar train, and the second for 'Being the Biggest Shit' ever to travel on a Eurostar train.
Witnesses on board the train claim that upon entering the carriage, Simon Darby, the BNP's useless press officer, followed Mr. Griffin straight to the small on board toilets where he sat outside patiently wagging his eye brows, whilst Mr. Griffin could be heard farting, gurgling and swearing inside the latrine. One member of the Griffin cortège, dressed as St. George with a silver colander on his head, proudly proclaimed that Griffin was 'shitting for Britain!'.
“We were on the train as soon as it arrived” said one passenger, “but Griffin was already in the toilet, we figured we would wait, I mean, how long could he be!? It was a good two hours, we were in France before we heard the door click, the queue by this point was getting ridiculous and the smell which wafted down the carriage knocked an elderly passenger out”.
A Eurostar spokesperson said that the drainage on the train was “nackered beyond all belief” adding that parts of it aren't even recognisable any more. “It is actually quite impressive (the damage) especially when you consider that these facilities are designed to take a whole days worth of waste, and he filled it in one go!”. The damage is likely to cost thousands to repair.
The second honour, for Being the Biggest Shit ever to travel on a Eurostar train, was awarded to him for his conduct aboard the train after he vacated the toilet and made his way down to the first class carriage at the front of the train.
He marched down the train with Mr. Darby up front waving a big gold stick announcing at the top of his monotone voice “make way for the glorious Nicholas John Griffin, our valiant leader, saviour of the indigenous British people who can trace their ancestry back to before 1066, enemy to all Islamomarxist claw hammer wielding, Labour party funded, foreigner loving, immigrant sheltering unwashed students, Lord of all the beasts of the earth and fishes of the sea and Conqueror of the European Union and MEP for the North West and protector of some random owl sanctuary there!”. Upon being asked to keep his voice down, Darby announced it a crime against the British people and exclaimed it was tantamount to high treason to deny Nick a seat in first class.
“They were trying to get into first class but didn't appear to have a ticket for first class, the steward told them to go back to the seats listed on the ticket but the bushy eyebrowed one was demanding they sit in the first class section” said a passenger who had actually paid to sit in first class. “It was a right commotion, we could hear them walking down shouting things about fishes and immigrants, and the balding one was waving some big gold stick with a snakes head on it, maybe a reptile, I dont know, I tried not to look at the them to be honest, I wanted a peaceful journey”.
Before leaving first class, Griffin was trying to take a packet of Steak and Onion crisps from the food trolley without paying, upon being asked to pay Darby ranted “When Nick is prime minister, you will punished in the manner of the old days of our forbears: through Traitor’s Gate and into the Tower! Expecting our glorious leader to pay for food most likely harvested on his own land! It's a disgrace”.
Griffin and his rabble apparently wandered back down to the other end of the train, where Griffin was heard making the same joke about being 'on the gravy train' over and over. The BNP declined to comment when we phoned them, however, minutes later we received a text message asking for a donation.
Nick Griffin, the portly chairman of the electorally sterile British National Party has today been given two unique awards after a recent trip to Belgium aboard the Eurostar. The first for 'Having the Biggest Shit ever' on a Eurostar train, and the second for 'Being the Biggest Shit' ever to travel on a Eurostar train.
Witnesses on board the train claim that upon entering the carriage, Simon Darby, the BNP's useless press officer, followed Mr. Griffin straight to the small on board toilets where he sat outside patiently wagging his eye brows, whilst Mr. Griffin could be heard farting, gurgling and swearing inside the latrine. One member of the Griffin cortège, dressed as St. George with a silver colander on his head, proudly proclaimed that Griffin was 'shitting for Britain!'.
“We were on the train as soon as it arrived” said one passenger, “but Griffin was already in the toilet, we figured we would wait, I mean, how long could he be!? It was a good two hours, we were in France before we heard the door click, the queue by this point was getting ridiculous and the smell which wafted down the carriage knocked an elderly passenger out”.
A Eurostar spokesperson said that the drainage on the train was “nackered beyond all belief” adding that parts of it aren't even recognisable any more. “It is actually quite impressive (the damage) especially when you consider that these facilities are designed to take a whole days worth of waste, and he filled it in one go!”. The damage is likely to cost thousands to repair.
The second honour, for Being the Biggest Shit ever to travel on a Eurostar train, was awarded to him for his conduct aboard the train after he vacated the toilet and made his way down to the first class carriage at the front of the train.
He marched down the train with Mr. Darby up front waving a big gold stick announcing at the top of his monotone voice “make way for the glorious Nicholas John Griffin, our valiant leader, saviour of the indigenous British people who can trace their ancestry back to before 1066, enemy to all Islamomarxist claw hammer wielding, Labour party funded, foreigner loving, immigrant sheltering unwashed students, Lord of all the beasts of the earth and fishes of the sea and Conqueror of the European Union and MEP for the North West and protector of some random owl sanctuary there!”. Upon being asked to keep his voice down, Darby announced it a crime against the British people and exclaimed it was tantamount to high treason to deny Nick a seat in first class.
“They were trying to get into first class but didn't appear to have a ticket for first class, the steward told them to go back to the seats listed on the ticket but the bushy eyebrowed one was demanding they sit in the first class section” said a passenger who had actually paid to sit in first class. “It was a right commotion, we could hear them walking down shouting things about fishes and immigrants, and the balding one was waving some big gold stick with a snakes head on it, maybe a reptile, I dont know, I tried not to look at the them to be honest, I wanted a peaceful journey”.
Before leaving first class, Griffin was trying to take a packet of Steak and Onion crisps from the food trolley without paying, upon being asked to pay Darby ranted “When Nick is prime minister, you will punished in the manner of the old days of our forbears: through Traitor’s Gate and into the Tower! Expecting our glorious leader to pay for food most likely harvested on his own land! It's a disgrace”.
Griffin and his rabble apparently wandered back down to the other end of the train, where Griffin was heard making the same joke about being 'on the gravy train' over and over. The BNP declined to comment when we phoned them, however, minutes later we received a text message asking for a donation.
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