The Simon Darby Show

Turkey Poem Competition

The winner of this weeks 'Turkey Poem competition' is... SIMON DARBY!

Well done Simon, your packet of turkey twizzlers are in the post!

Simons winning poem!

Turkeys, turkeys
Everywhere!
Hiding behind corners,
Giving Simon a scare!

Ambush

BNP proudly reporting that they invited the BBC Panorama team to a Q&A session with the BNP leadership. However, in a clever move, Nick made a statement about BBC staff instead and then fled, whilst the team were then physically removed from the meeting by Darby and several other meatheads.

Just the behaviour you expect from Britain's Fastest Growing and Fourth Largest Political Party!

Sorry, did we say growing?

Simon Darby gets his gobble on!!

Now we're back in business here at the Turkey Farm, we thought we'd give you an update on the insane ramblings over on Simon 'Eyebrows' Darby's blog... seems he has some fixation on the Turkey Farm at the moment, for three solid days he has been ranting about the articles on here and about turkeys in general, seems all this discussion about his 'purpose' here has hit a raw nerve.

He ranted:

As Britain's most prominent and famous British Nationalist Birder, I want to make a statement regarding this so called Turkey Farm and their blogging Turkeys! I'm sure you've all been over there and read their smears about my eyebrows being fake!

Firstly, as a seasoned birder and professional Ornithologist I am almost 98% certain that a turkey cannot read or write. I have never seen it, nor have I heard of it. They only have feet and wings, how can they even use a keyboard? Or a mouse!? Even if they can, I very much doubt they have access to the internet and are able to set up blogs, email and twitter accounts! 

I very much doubt they have any grasp of, or interest in politics, even if it is only nationalism! They're birds, they wobble around all day in a field and make a gobble gobble sound, they do not sit down at laptop computers and write! And also! There is no way they would support people eating Turkey! It makes no sense! Why would they promote Turkey products over chicken products? It's quite clear to me, that even if Turkeys can read and write, they most certainly aren't writing that horrible and mean blog!

I'd like to bet, and I would put money on this, £5 I'm willing to bet anyone, no, let's make it interesting! For a £7 bet I will bet that it is not actually a turkey writing that blog! 

He later posted via Twitter:

Having nightmares about Turkeys again, fucking Turkeys and their computers!!

And later at 3:35am:


Cant sleep - been ringing round Turkey Farms up and down the country and not one Turkey Farmer agrees that a turkey can read or write, never mind master the internet! So I think the case is closed! 


Poor old Mr. Darby. We're going to send him some free Turkey Twizzlers in the post and an activist pack for The Turkey Party of the United Kingdom - A nationalist Turkey party, aimed at reducing the amount of imported Turkey into the UK! We're sure he'll be very interested!